Bài mẫu IELTS Writing Band 8 & Tips để đạt 8.0 IELTS Writing

Chinh phục band 8 IELTS Writing cùng Dolenglish với các tips viết bài hiệu quả & các bài viết mẫu band 8, giúp người học hiểu rõ về tiêu chí của band điểm này.

1. Tiêu chí chấm điểm IELTS Writing

Tiêu chi chấm IELTS writing band 8 task 1 và task 2 sẽ nhìn như sau:

Bạn sẽ thấy trong phần mô tả band điểm, một bài viết band 8 là bài viết sử dụng một cách khéo léo những từ vựng không phổ biến. Thuật ngữ phổ biến là những từ và cụm từ chúng ta sử dụng hàng ngày còn các thuật ngữ không phổ biến được sử dụng khi chúng ta thảo luận về các chủ đề cụ thể hoặc khi chúng ta sử dụng ngôn ngữ thành ngữ (cụm động từ).

https://ielts.com.au/australia/prepare/article-ielts-writing-task-2-8-steps-towards-a-band-8

Lưu ý, tất nhiên để đạt được mức “cân nhắc lên band 8”, bạn cần đạt tiêu chuẩn các band còn lại nhé.

2. Mẫu bài viết viết lại từ band 6.5

Trong phần này, DOL sẽ sử dụng 1 bài mẫu Writing task 2 để làm ví dụ cho bạn thấy làm sao để viết được 1 bài IELTS writing band 8.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world

still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Bài viết band 6.0

00:00

It is true that there is an increasing number of people do not have enough food supplies despite the agriculture development. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this phenomenon and then offer some feasible solutions to it.

There are a number of factors responsible for why citizens suffer from hunger when agriculture progresses. Chief among these is that the unresolved poverty in some poor countries like the African countries, which can result in the fact that people lack financial resources to acquire new agricultural technologies. As a consequence, several people, especially manual workers, cannot eradicate their hunger. Another reason is that harsh climates also leaves these countries with less chance for cultivating sufficient crops despite using modern tools in farming. By way of illustration, drought in Africa has destroyed various crops. This may give gave rise to the fact that famine remains a common problem.

Various measures, nevertheless, can be adopted to tackle the situation. The first possible approach is that the government in undeveloped countries should reduce taxes for citizens, which helps them to minimize their financial burden. As a result,it can provide them with an opportunity to pay for most of their expenses, especially modern technology, thereby increasing agricultural productivity and leading to a decline in hunger. The second solution is that the authorities in those countries should encourage citizens to plant trees. This is because it helps to clean the air and stabilize the soil, which will reverse climate change, meaning that they may have a rich harvest of crops and solve hunger.

In conclusion, the fact that people experiencing hunger no matter how innovative agricultural technologies are can stem from many causes. However, steps can be taken to ameliorate the situation.

Sau đây, DOL sẽ tiến hành sửa bài trên như sau:

Color code

TA: Task achievement error

CC: Coherence & Cohesion error

GR: Grammatical Range & Accuracy error

LR: Lexical resource error

abc: Should be deleted

Bold: Marker’s suggestion

It is true that there is an increasing number of people who do not have enough food supplies despite several the agriculture developments. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this phenomenon and then offer some feasible solutions to it them.

There are a number of factors responsible for why citizens people in many parts of the world suffer from hunger when agriculture/agricultural science progresses. Chief among these is that the unresolved poverty in some poor countries like the African countries/nations, which can result in the fact that people lack financial resources to acquire new agricultural technologies. (1) As a consequence, several people, especially manual workers, cannot eradicate their hunger.(2) Another reason is that harsh climates also leaves these countries with less chance for cultivating sufficient crops despite using modern tools in farming. (3) By way of illustration, drought in Africa has destroyed various crops. This may give gave rise to the fact that famine remains remained a common problem.

Various measures, nevertheless, can be adopted to tackle the situation. The first possible approach is that the governments in (4) undeveloped countries should reduce taxes for citizens, which helps them to minimize ease/lighten their financial burden. As a result,(5) it this policy can provide them with an opportunity to pay for most of their expenses, especially modern technology, thereby increasing agricultural productivity and leading to a decline in hunger. (6) The second solution is that the authorities in those countries should encourage citizens to plant trees. This is because it they/This solution helps to clean the air and stabilize the soil, which will reverse climate change, meaning that they may have a rich harvest of crops and solve hunger.

In conclusion, the fact that people experiencing suffer from hunger no matter how innovative agricultural technologies are can stem from many causes. However, steps can be taken to ameliorate the situation.

DOL sẽ note một số lỗi điển hình của từng tiêu chí ở bài trên, tập trung vào TA và CC vì đây là 2 tiêu chí quan trọng nhất để phân biệt band 8 và các band thấp hơn. 

Task achievement

(1)

  • Idea 1 phần cause của bài chưa được expand triệt để. Cụ thể là việc không acquire được technologies  thì gây ảnh hưởng như thế nào đến hunger? Vì vậy, cần 1 ví dụ để làm rõ ý hơn.

  • Ngoài ra, để apply technologies thì chính phủ phải có tiền để giúp dân chúng apply, chứ tự người dân sẽ không bỏ tiền cho technologies. Vấn đề ở đây là chính phủ thiếu tiền

(4): Như có đề cập ở trên thì vấn đề chính phủ thiếu tiền => Cần giải quyết việc chính phủ thiếu tiền, không phải người dân

CC: Coherence & Cohesion error

(2): “Another reason is that” bị trùng với “also”

(3): Bài chưa expand idea 1 phần cause, cụ thể là

(5): it -> this policy

--> It ở đây chỉ đủ khả năng refer về 1 Noun (gần nhất) ở câu trước => Không thể nói về chính sách mới này được.  => Sử dụng this policy để generalize approach giảm tax.

(6):  Solution planting more trees không sai, tuy nhiên, chỉ "encourage citizens to plant trees" thì không practical - không đủ impactful để giải quyết vấn đề. Chưa kể đến việc hạn hán thì không trồng được cây => Mình cần experts từ các nước phát triển đén hỗ trợ dân áp dụng các công nghệ nống nghiệp giúp trồng được cây => giảm hạn hán => nông nghiệp phát triển và giảm nạn đói.

Grammatical errors và Lexical resource errors được sửa theo các từ in đậm trong bài.

Cùng DOL rewrite bài trên theo tiêu chí IELTS writing band 8.0 bạn nhé.

00:00

It is true that people in some parts of the world still suffer from starvation despite agricultural advances. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this phenomenon and then offer some solutions to it. 

A lack of modern technology and extreme weather could be two factors responsible for the issue of widespread hunger. Chief among these is the absence of agricultural technology in poor parts of the world, meaning that people in these areas do not have access to efficient tools to overcome obstacles faced in traditional agriculture. For example, hand watering is still practiced in some regions due to a lack of irrigation systems, while a shortage of fertilisers and pesticides may also lead to low crop yields, thereby resulting in food shortage. Another major reason is that unfavourable local conditions such as floods or droughts can make it almost impossible to grow crops. This impact is even made worse as a result of recent changes in climate patterns, which means that certain vulnerable regions still suffer from insufficient food production.

International aid, nevertheless, can be provided to mitigate the issue. A simple solution to start with is for developed nations to send humanitarian aid, including food, to help relieve acute food shortages. In fact, several countries with strong economies have been allocating funds to keep food supply chains operating so that people in countries in food crises can have access to life sustaining food. As far as climatic solutions are concerned, planting trees to reverse climate change can help eradicate famine in the long term. This can be conducted by having developed countries send experts to help low-skilled farmers in poorer countries adopt modern technologies and farming practices, which can raise trees. This solution leads to clouds forming and decent rainfall thanks to the moisture released into the atmosphere from trees. Such a process then returns the moisture to the ground and eases droughts, meaning that more opportunities for agricultural practices are provided. Ultimately, prolonged famine will be eradicated.

In conclusion, I believe that regional hunger can stem from limited access to new technology and unavoidable factors. However, assistance from international communities can be useful to alleviate the situation. 

3. Bài mẫu band 8 

DOL gửi bạn xem qua một số bài band 8.0 với các chủ đề khác nhau nhé!

Sample 1

Some people say that we do not need printed newspapers anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Bài mẫu band 8 số 1 IELST Wrting
Some people say that we do not need printed newspapers anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
00:00

Technology advancement has resulted in a profusion of digital platforms. As a result, the vast majority of people believe that daily newspapers are no longer necessary. As a consequence, in my opinion, an up-to-date broadcast is now available on electronic devices. In the following paragraphs, I will clarify my position. There are numerous reasons to support this notion.

Nowadays, getting news on the internet provides a number of advantages. For starters, internet papers keep readers up to date faster than traditional periodicals. For example, we can acquire global updates instantaneously on the internet, but it would take publications a few days to investigate and publish the data officially. Second, the internet allows users to access free material and the most up-to-date information without having to purchase physical newspapers from stores, allowing them to save money and time.

On the other hand, I believe that physical diaries are still indispensable for a variety of reasons. The first is that they are one of the most reliable sources of information. Because anybody may create and upload articles on the internet, they may include untrustworthy material that has not been adequately vetted before release. Furthermore, online journals frequently have a detrimental impact on people's health. For example, if we spend many hours each day reading online news on our mobile phone or computer, this might have a negative influence, particularly on our eyes.  

In conclusion, while individuals are increasingly using alternative media to acquire worldwide information, this does not indicate that there is no longer a vital demand for physical press.  

Sample 2

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?  

Bài mẫu band 8 số 2 IELST Wrting
Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
00:00

Some say that government should have complete control over scientific research. While governments must play an important role in technological advancement, I feel that collaboration between government and private funding would be more beneficial.  

People feel that governments should oversee scientific research for a variety of reasons. To begin, scientific study, by definition, necessitates enormous effort, time, and money. It is thought that only the government, with the well-being of the entire population in mind, can continually invest in these initiatives and will not sacrifice the long-term purpose for a short-term financial benefit. Second, some scientific endeavors, if allowed unchecked, are likely to produce social or ethical difficulties, undermining society's value. For instance, genetic engineering technology has sparked several debates and is presently subject to government oversight. Finally, most science funding comes from tax income; as a result, individuals want their tax dollars to be used under the supervision of government officials.  

Nevertheless, as long as these technological programs are driven by the government, I believe private sector engagement will undoubtedly contribute to the end aim. The fundamental reason is that government personnel are not professionals in either the scientific or business sectors, but private funds are more specialized in the implementation of scientific achievements since they are profit-driven. With genuine economic rewards achieved by those studies, relevant employees may be more encouraged to do more research. Furthermore, government personnel are occasionally understaffed and inefficient. Without such teamwork, people risk becoming overwhelmed by the volume of work and communication.  

Finally, I believe that academic studies may be carried out and marketed more effectively with the partnership of the government and private firms, given that officials rigorously regulate it.  

Sample 3

Giving detailed description of crimes in newspapers and on TV can have negative consequences, so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Bài mẫu band 8 số 3 IELST Wrting
Giving detailed description of crimes in newspapers and on TV can have negative consequences, so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
00:00

The restriction of legal violation scenes shown via media channels should be introduced by the related authorities due to their detrimental impacts. From my perspective, I would express my strong opposition to that suggestion as broadcasting criminal cases through multimedia sites is beneficial in terms of educating citizens and exercising caution in dealing with serious offenses.  

On the one hand, the detailed description of crimes in newspapers and on TV would be disadvantageous due to the possibility that people would commit the same criminal acts and display anxiety toward the unsafe society. Regarding the former drawback, showing the wrongdoings of criminals publicly on media networks provides individuals with a clear understanding of how the infringement was conducted, from which they may learn and follow. As a consequence, there are high chances that those people, especially youngsters, would become potential offenders in the future. Not to mention that by televising a myriad of violation occurrences, mental health problems would experience a drastic increase since citizens are prone to develop anxiety toward an unsecured society.

On the other hand, broadcasting more crime scenes on social media websites can be considered a means of education and caution for people. Chief among these is that broadcasting more violations of crimes in combination with their severe punishment plays a pivotal role in eradicating the intention of future offenders. Therefore, the increasing rate of the number of to-be-culprits would be significantly reduced. In addition, by exemplifying in detail the procedure of a breach, individuals would be more well-aware of the feasibility of a criminal case. Thus, they would have a tendency to prepare for approaches to avoid being victims of wrongdoings.

In conclusion, although the display of criminal scenes should be limited due to their potential impact on increasing lawbreakers' and citizens' concerns, I am of the opinion that cases of violation of law should be shown on different media sites to educate and inform people about the risk of those offenses.

DOL hy vọng bài viết trên đã giúp bạn hiểu một bài IELTS writing band 8 thì cần những gì nè. Nếu có bất ký thắc mắc gì, đừng ngần ngại liên hệ DOL qua  website, Facebook bạn nha. Chúc bạn thành công.

📖 DOL xin gửi bạn một vài chủ đề tham khảo khác:

🔎 Nắm rõ kiến thức và cách làm đối với dạng đề:

Giải đáp các câu hỏi thường gặp

Đạt điểm 8 trong phần thi IELTS Writing có khó không?

Câu trả lời là có! Đạt điểm 8 trong phần thi IELTS Writing được xem là thành tựu rất tốt. Vì bài thi viết luôn được các thí sinh nhận xét là khó đạt điểm cao. Theo đó, để có được số điểm này, thí sinh phải thể hiện khả năng viết tiếng Anh rõ ràng, mạch lạc, các luận điểm chặt chẽ. Cùng với đó là gần như không mắc lỗi sai chính tả và ngữ pháp.

Những lỗi thường gặp khi sử dụng các ngữ pháp câu trong phần thi IELTS Writing mà thí sinh cần tránh?

  • Mệnh đề Quan hệ: Sử dụng đại từ không đúng - who/that/which

  • Mệnh đề Điều kiện: Chọn sai thì của động từ cho loại mệnh đề - Hiện tại hoàn thành/quá khứ: Chọn sai thì của động từ - had/have had

  • Bị động: Chọn sai động từ thể bị động

  • Danh động từ: Mắc lỗi khi sử dụng -ing

  • Danh từ Đếm được: Mắc lỗi khi sử dụng danh từ số ít và số nhiều

  • Quán từ: Sử dụng a/the không đúng, hoặc không sử dụng quán từ

  • Thống nhất về chủ ngữ/động từ: The girls ‘are’ – số ít hay số nhiều

  • Giới từ: Chọn sai giới từ độc lập, hay sai giới từ địa điểm, v.v.

  • Dấu câu: Sử dụng không đúng cách, hoặc không sử dụng.

Gợi ý 1 số đề bài luyện thi IELTS Writing

  • Some people think that ït is best to encourage children to leave their family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at the family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

  • Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

  • In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

  • Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

  • Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Những từ vựng cần thiết để đạt IELTS Writing Band 8

  • Từ vựng cho phần bắt đầu bài luận: Many/some people claim/believe that…; There is no denying that…; It is often said that…; These days.../ Nowadays.../ In this day and age…; It goes without saying that…; It is universally accepted that…; We live in an age when many of us are…; People are divided in their opinion regarding…; .... is one of the most important issues…; Whether... or .... is a controversial issue…

  • Từ vựng để kết thúc phần giới thiệu: However, I strongly believe that…; I personally believe that…; I wholeheartedly believe that this trend should be changed.

  • Từ vựng dùng để nêu ý kiến: In my opinion…; I strongly opine that…; I strongly agree with the idea that…; I strongly disagree with the given topic...; I think…; My opinion is that…; Personally speaking…; In my view…; I believe…; Apparently…; Personally speaking…; According to me…; As far as I am concerned…; It seems to me that...

  • Từ vựng phần kết luận: In conclusion…; In summary…; To conclude…; To conclude with…; To sum up…; In general…; To summarise…; In short…; Overall…; In a nutshell...

Link tham khảo:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Essay&kponly=&kgmid=/m/02t97
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essay
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syntax
https://www.google.com/search?q=Syntax&kponly=&kgmid=/m/06nvh
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morpheme
https://www.google.com/search?q=Morpheme&kponly=&kgmid=/m/06nvh